


the world hates you but you can hate it too

by EchoFall



Series: DSUS? [2]
Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Torture, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:22:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28701381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EchoFall/pseuds/EchoFall
Summary: The world has always been against Lucien. It’s time something good happened in his life for once.A side fic for Dad Spy, Uncle Spy?, Spoilers ahead.
Relationships: Sniper/Spy (Team Fortress 2)
Series: DSUS? [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2103879
Kudos: 10





	the world hates you but you can hate it too

**Author's Note:**

> purely self indulgent and depressing. i started writing this for the epilogue of DSUS? but decided to make it a different piece.

The year was 1939, and I was only a child. I was on the ground, sobbing miserably as laughter could be heard from the guards. One of them had just ‘had his way with me’. 

Not that I knew what that meant. I was only a child, after all. Too young to have to experience something like this, not that I would ever wish this upon someone else, regardless of age. 

The scene morphed. 

It was a few weeks later, and my older brother was hurting me. I didn’t understand why, but Ren was causing me so much pain. I didn’t understand why; he wouldn’t answer me no matter how much so begged or whimpered or sobbed or apologised. I didn’t know what I had done wrong. 

A week later, I was told that he was dead. And I felt relieved. 

Again, everything changed. 

I was training to become a Spy. I was young, and I had no family. I also held an intense hatred for humanity. I was perfect for the job. 

~~ I was too young for this, too young for  _ murder- _ ~~

Years and years later, I took up an offer to work for Mann Co., where I would fight with eight others against people as similar to us as possible. There was also the added benefit of us not being able to die, which was nice. 

~~ Maybe I would stop wanting to kill myself if I knew I couldn’t.  ~~

Life got better. I liked my team well enough, and I had even found myself a lover. 

It didn’t matter that he was a man - and one on the other team at that - it was something. I loved him. 

I also proved everyone who had everyone who had said I was unlovable wrong. 

Later still, I found out that my brother was not only alive, but working as the enemy team’s spy. I found out that he had been forced to torture me, and that he thought that I was the one who was dead. 

I also found out that he had two sons, making me an uncle. Mentally, I promised I would protect them with my life. 

Then everything changed. I had a love-hate relationship with change. It loved me while I hated it, but still dealt with it like it knew I would. 

Suddenly we were fighting robots. Every robotic version of myself that I saw made everything worse, but no one cared enough to notice.

Or maybe I was just that good at hiding things. 

Then I got kidnapped. 

Captured. 

Whatever you call it, it was embarrassing. 

I was supposed to be better than this. 

I should’ve been able to handle the torture, but I couldn’t. 

_ I couldn’t _ . 

I had gone through terrible deaths everyday but I still couldn’t handle this. 

_ Pathetic _ . 

In my defence, they didn’t prepare you for if a robotic version of your brother made by an evil Mann came to fuck up your new brotherly relationship in spy training. 

Though I suppose it fell on me for thinking that a robot was actually my brother, like some sort of  _ fucking idiot- _

I had to be rescued, which was even more embarrassing. 

My lover - the Sniper - had held me in his arms as the Medic patched me up. As my brother sat outside the room, being attacked by an old man with a gun. 

If I hadn’t been so scared of my  _ own brother _ , that wouldn’t have happened. 

It was my fault. 

He lived, but he did get shot. 

And it was my fault. 

And then, I awoke in a hospital bed, tucked close to Rene’s chest as he protected me from a threat that wasn’t there. 

And then, I awoke in Mundy’s arms, in our own bed in our own room in Rene’s house in France. 

He was murmuring reassurances to me. I had had a nightmare, he had said. 

I felt like a fool, but he told me I wasn’t. 

We walked downstairs hand and hand. 

In the living room, my entire family stood. 

It was my birthday. 

I hadn’t known, but Rene had remembered. 

And I knew. 

Knew that somehow, everything was going to be okay. 

Knew that I wasn’t going to spend nights palming a gun, debating putting it against my head. 

Knew that I wasn’t going to spend anymore nights thinking about how when I died, no one would know.

Knew that I had found a place where I belonged, where I wouldn’t be risking my life or selling my body for much needed money. 

Knew that I had a family, and that I was going to get better. 

And that was all I had ever wanted, ever since I was a child. 

A child who had experienced too much, much too early. 


End file.
